A Cynic's Perspective

fuckyouimeric @ 2006-12-11T17:49:00

2006-12-12T00:49:06Z

Broke up with my girlfriend...yeah.

Food and Stogs

2006-10-12T07:01:48Z

Well, I know what working 40 hours a week and living pay check to pay check is like now. Wonderful. After a while you learn to cope without food, which gives me a cool comeback to anti/non-smokers. "Why do you smoke?" (dumb fucking question) "Well, it cheaper than buying food because when you smoke a stog, it surpresses your appitite." They usually concede defeat after this one and the conversation continues. Only thing bad about this is that you don't eat any brekfast, maybe some toast, if you have bread that is, but the main course is usually about two cigarettes. Then you work 2pm-11pm you get home, and you eat well....more cigarettes. Now heres the problem. When you run out of cigarettes, your fucked (speaking from recent experience) and your fucked even more if your broke and you have no cigarettes until your next pay day (which as of now is in two days). So not only your going through nicotine withdrawls, your broke and hungry. Add those three qualities together, and you have a very pissed off member of the american working class.

So after considering all this, now I know why people rob, steal, and even sometimes kill. They are hungry, and they lack nicotine. Moments like these make me miss being a fat ass. At least my body had the rich nourishment that is lard, and if I go too long without food it would just eat it from my big ass. Well...that ass is kind of fading away, and im starting to have go to auxillary areas for spare fat to push me one more day till payday when i can have a proper meal. See when your broke and hungry, a luxury meal is taco bell, rockstar, AND cigarrettes. Not only the stimulation gets you through the day fast, you don't really notice your hunger because your too wired off of all the chemicals and by-products you ingested for it to really have an effect. Which is really good because this makes work a bit easier when you don't feel like someone stabbing a scalpel in your stumach.

Moments like these make me hate my dad. Hopefully with the money he has he can afford to die on a mattress, and no one will be around him. He will be old, lonely, and he will have an epiphany. "Hey, I'm a fucking hypocrite preaching god every 10 seconds, but yet, I told my family to fuck off. I didn't really read that thats okay in the bible. Oh shit...I think im going to hell." Which is also okay, it really is. Nothing says karma more than a moment where you regret 3/4 of your life. But enough about that dickhead.

Even though I can't stand the bitch, one person I really feel sorry for is my mother. The weak-minded broad just can't take care of herself. Not in the sence of feeding, washing, etc. But just common fucking sense. So indecisive, and extremly sensitive. So I guess I should just sum it up and use the word "pathetic". Only reason I feel sorry for her, because I know instead of thinking of a way to get out of this situation, she probably keeps dwelling on "how did it come to this?" Which is bad, because you don't think of any solutions, its... counter productive.

Theres a few lights at the end of the tunnel, though, they're reinstating my moms medical check so I can finally fucking eat again. Hell, maybe I can go back to school again. Eh, oh well, about a month more of this and we'll see.

fuckyouimeric @ 2006-09-22T00:31:00

2006-09-22T09:05:13Z

Well, I havn't done an update in a while, and I have nothing to do so might as well.

So, where should I begin, I guess we should start with the small talk. Eight months at Lowe's...wow, im a loser. It's not that bad, it's actually been pretty chill lately, other than the normal drama at work. Theres one thing im getting sick of, is this "Days of our Lowe's" shit. It's as if I am working on the set of a soap opera. Who's fucking who, who's not showing up to work, who's a bad manager. I think it's safe to say that the novelty is wearing out, and I've starting to wonder how the hell am I avoiding drama, while everyone else is stuck back in high school. These are people 25-60 acting like they're 14, and to tell you the truth it's pretty disturbing.

Smoked with my co-worker last night, thats the only positive out of the swarm of negatives thats been happening lately. Jenna is a sweet girl, bit of a temper though.

Hmm whenever I think of hanging out with a co-worker I feel sort of like a loser. I mean I guess it was bound to happen I'm with these guys all day, but yet theres a strange feeling seeing them when not on lowes property, but eh oh well. I guess I gotta hango ut with them anyways, I see everyone else every now and then, but scheduals never really match up, so no time to chill.

But enough of the idle chit chat, interesting turn of events today:
From hence forth, my family will be moving out of our current location. This was comming for a long time, and we're currently broke, but this is what set me off.

So I was just smokin weed in my basement, you know, normal ol' day. I got out, went in my house to gather my things before heading off to the wonderful place I work. Then I hear a knock on the backdoor as if it was a pissed off cop. I knew who it was instantly because we're pretty late on the rent, and the landlords son is a fucking undercover cop for san jose police. I answer the door, and the expected question came "Hey, do you have the rent?" Oh and guess who I see, ol' Mr. Brasil, the owner of the house, a sweet old portugese man, who just happens to be immensly pissed. So I say "well they don't tell me anything, my mom should be home after 5 and my sister after 6, they still havn't given it to you?" He goes "Yeah, your four months late..." And Mr. Brasil being the sweet old man that he is says in a thick portugese accent "Where is my money!?" as he rubbs his fingers together like a fucking loan shark. And I was thinking Woa, four fucking months, no one ever told me that.
"Why you no pay rent?"
"Well sir I don't really handle that, I just pay the cable."
"This, no more (actual translation)" as he shook his hands in a vertical motion "You no pay, you get out!"
"K, i'll be sure to let em know"

Fucking cock sucker. So I was walking out the front door, they were snooping around the basement (probably smelt the pot, heh fuckin' pig) and we were both in the front yard leaving, he points to my sisters broken down car, and says
"Is this your sisters car?"
"yeah, the engine is messed up though, why?"
"Well don't be surprised if your neighbors complain that its parked out here"
Now, I know how pigs work, and I knew what this cock sucker was getting at.
"Well, we know all our neighbors and talk to them and non of em complained at all"
"I'm just sayin don't be surprised if you get a complaint and get it towed"

How mature. We're broke, so your gonna try to call a tow truck to tow my sisters car, amazing. Well those two faggots drove off together into the sunset, and I made my way to work.

So, after 20 years of renting this place (which also makes me wonder what the fuck were my parents doing renting for 20 years) this bastard comes to me, yelling at me saying "Where's my money? " Since I was still high I started zoning out and got a flashback of me playing in the backyard when I was still in pre-school. Talking to Mr. Brasil him saying cheerfully "Do you play soccer? No? Oh come on!" and now warp 17 years later, him looking me dead in the eye asking for his money, with his little pig son as his enforcer. Amazing how all that goes out the window when money is involved. Fuck him. All he is, is a fucking slum lord, nothing more, nothing less. There are so many things that needs to be fixed in this house, hell I sold him a very good toilet at my job (*sigh) and all I can think was "hey, im not gonna sit on that, what a fucker." 20 years, now get the hell out cause you don't have my money.

During this my mom started calling her lawyer saying she needs to get her case settled, and that bitch was like " I wish i could go in there and settle it, but [insert excuse here]" I'm said "mom, switch your fucking lawyer...now." But knowing that worthless cunt, she'll probably procrastinate on that too. She finally broke down, swallowed her pride and asked dad. My dad said she'll get back to her, drove all the way over here in his new car, and said no. That son of a bitch. He baught two houses and a new car, and has another one, and he's just getting a kick out of our situation. He waited till Niki and I were 18 and just said "see ya". My dad, is the same as my grandma, a bitter fucking old man, spawned from a bitter old woman. He gives a fuck about no one but himself, and the funny thing is, well I have a half-brother (yeah the wierd things you don't know about people) from this broad he got pregnant in Michigan. Well I guess he did the same thing with him too, so this isn't out of character for him. If I see this son of bitch, Im going to knock his fucking knee caps out, fucking coward. Fuck him too.

So the battle plan is:
Pay the slum lord off
Move out

I'm switching to full-time unfortunatly, but it's time to extend my payments to both cable and rent. More and more the army becomes a more viable option.

Life becomming your work, loneliness, not knowing when your going to eat, not knowing if you'll have a roof over your head. So, I finally discovered what depression is.

Eh, I'll live.

fuckyouimeric @ 2006-08-26T10:24:00

2006-08-26T17:25:27Z

I havn't felt this way in a while....and it feels good.

fuckyouimeric @ 2006-08-20T01:50:00

2006-08-20T08:50:24Z

I have a flask of vodka, I need one other volunteer to drink it with me...

fuckyouimeric @ 2006-08-11T17:05:00

2006-08-12T00:05:23Z

Some people take stupid shit way too personally. I must filter these people.

fuckyouimeric @ 2006-08-04T01:19:00

2006-08-04T08:19:17Z

I got portugese cigarettes!!

fuckyouimeric @ 2006-07-19T04:11:00

2006-07-19T11:12:56Z

Dude fuckin in ofoosiball man, me ans susana martins are an unbeatable team. NO ONE can fuckin stop ius man. Dude I just had to break into my own fuckin house mna. I ffuckin forgot my keyes at tim's house and i had to like, get int and shit .. But yeah dude fuckin great drinkin with you all, its been fucking AGES man, peace!.

fuckyouimeric @ 2006-07-12T16:28:00

2006-07-12T23:28:48Z

I love bitchy and controlling women... I think I have low self esteem.

fuckyouimeric @ 2006-07-11T20:36:00

2006-07-12T03:36:33Z

*sigh* leave it up to two romanians to lift my spirits.

fuckyouimeric @ 2006-06-28T01:43:00

2006-06-28T08:44:15Z

Nicole seem's to be the only one with the blatant ability to anylize me. I must prepare propper defences for this in the near future.

fuckyouimeric @ 2006-06-25T01:04:00

2006-06-25T08:05:14Z

JESUS CHRIST. I was such a fucking closet left winger back in highschool its pathetic. I wonder how many other people knew this.

sigh

2006-06-11T05:25:13Z

Manipulated women reap what they sow.

fuckyouimeric @ 2006-06-06T21:10:00

2006-06-07T04:11:47Z

Couldn't find a goat, so I used one of the baby birds I got from the nest in my backyard instead*

*denotes sarcasm

fuckyouimeric @ 2006-06-06T01:03:00

2006-06-06T08:03:29Z

Time to listen to slayer and sacrifice a goat.

Make me an idiot

2006-06-04T07:51:48Z

I was told being able to think, to see through bullshit is a gift one is born with. I like to laugh at the word gift, because nothing can be further from the truth. Intellegence, maturity, the ability to see the other point of view is not a gift, but a very heavy burden, a curse. A curse which causes social ineptness, isolation, depression, and just a general feeling of disdain for everyone else. Above all, it causes jealousy. How dare they live thier lives in such an ignorant bliss, totally oblivious to the reality they are in? How dare they think they are the center of the universe, and everyone must appeal to them? Fucking disgusting. Some feel sorry for the ignorance, want to try to help them, but I on the other hand just receive a fresh surge of jealousy coursing through my veins as if it was an adrenalin rush after a traumatic exerience.

It would be wonderful to live my life in ignorance. To willingly accepting injustices done to me, being naive to people's darker intentions. Unfortunatly this curse infects me, as well as all the side effects caused by it. One epiphany I took to heart as a kid, was the realization that I don't quite act like these kids around me. I can hang out with them, I can joke with them, go to thier birthday parties, spend the night at their house, and have the greatest time in my life. But I will never be them. They are not me, I fit in, but yet I do not. For some reason they open up their darkest secrets to me, but I have no desire to do so to them, they are not to be trusted. You are alone and you will always be alone. This doesn't mean you do not have friends, this does not mean you won't have fun, live life, perhaps even get laid a few times. But you will always be the side dish. The optional one who completes the meal, but yet not really needed when people's appities arn't ferocious. You will always be the joker in the card deck, only to be taken out when wanted, but most of the time, thrown to the side as an optional wild card, or if your lucky, certain games that just might require your presence.

This stark realization shocked me as a child, and every so often I am reminded how true this is. I must stand on my own two. You have no one, you must not depend on no one. Only you can make you what you want to set out to be, and you must act as so. Although one must anylize ones own feelings of selfishness and not be so caught up in your own little world to forgot the needs of individual people around you. When one ask for help, and there is no deception, and you KNOW they will actually learn from it, you must give it. This curse can also be transferable to another person who is willing to accept the responsibility of having it. But those are rare in numbers.

*sigh* This is one of the many childhood lessons I wish I did not learn. This is probably depressing, but yet, is it not true?

loosening the screws

2006-06-02T09:10:15Z

Man, I love days where I work 2-11, and guess what? Two days in a row! yaay! Then this crazy 12-9 and 1-10 shit, I hate when they switch it up on you, gives you no sense of...rutine. Man at my job you run through more bullshit than a cattle rancher. This one broad, who looks like a dirty white girl and well...is a dirty white girl, came into work, very drunk...twice. Now I'm a leftist but christ I fucking hate democrats. We can't fire this unproductive bitch because we have to offer treatment, and only fire her if she refuses. I mean this cock sucker clocks in faded, and they see she's faded, so they don't want her to drive home drunk so they make her sleep in the back. ARGH, I love workers rights, but shit like this is going too far. *sigh*

Bleh. Let's get off the subject of work right now. Leave work at work and home at home, mix the two and no matter what, it leaves you up shit creek without a paddle.

Ever look at yourself in the mirror, I mean REALLY look at yourself, after you've been caught up with life, work (don't mix the two), friends etc.? It's really wierd, because sometimes you see like a distinct change, it's crazy because no matter what you do you get a "woa, I think I look fuckin different"

Or maybe it's not that at all. You might just look exactly the same, just the way you perceive yourself is different because of all the shit you have went through. Sometimes for the worse, but in this case I think for the better. It is crazy to think about the relationship between perception of the world and self, and when I look at my life, I realize how interwoven these two things are. And it's crazy to think of what a little human contact, plus a bit of weight loss does to ones confidence. Like now, I can look in the mirror and say "hey...I look pretty fucking good, they would have to be a blind fool to think I don't." Hmm that reminds me, I need to buy new pants. The ones I'm wearing make me look fatter than I am due to them being lose. When I take off my belt, it wobbles around my waste (the pants) and when I grab the belt line, and pull outward from my body to see how far it goes, I can only thing , " Hey... I REFUSE to beleive my stumach or ass stuck out THAT far." But...apparently it did, kinda makes me wonder.

Blah, enough of this shit I need some sleep.

fuckyouimeric @ 2006-06-01T01:27:00

2006-06-01T08:28:11Z

I seriously wonder if i'm a bad person

fuckyouimeric @ 2006-05-25T19:04:00

2006-05-26T02:05:28Z

This girl is a fuckin moron. I feel no pity.

http://abcnews.go.com/Primetime/story?id=1297922&page=1

fuckyouimeric @ 2006-05-24T01:07:00

2006-05-24T08:07:53Z

"So we're left with just one thing. The only thing I know that drives a man to hurt, to want. This is about a girl...isn't it?"

fuckyouimeric @ 2006-05-19T01:56:00

2006-05-19T08:56:10Z

If an undead rogue raped an nightelf druid, would that be considered necrophilia?

Welcome to Lowe's

2006-05-16T07:43:12Z

ourlies (11:07:52 PM): where do you work
Fawkk U Im Eric (11:07:57 PM): lowe's
ourlies (11:08:08 PM): like a real man
Fawkk U Im Eric (11:08:12 PM): the rebels who are trying to topple the home depot empire
ourlies (11:08:19 PM): your kind of place haha
Fawkk U Im Eric (11:08:30 PM): haha funny you should say that, i noticed my muscle mass has increased haha
ourlies (11:08:35 PM): noiice
Fawkk U Im Eric (11:08:51 PM): i guess from lifting toilets and bags of semen
Fawkk U Im Eric (11:08:55 PM): er cement
ourlies (11:08:58 PM): LOL
Fawkk U Im Eric (11:09:05 PM): hehe oops
Fawkk U Im Eric (11:09:11 PM): thats my other job
ourlies (11:09:13 PM): LOL

So today was a great day, I ran into every dickhead that came through plumbing. God I hate pregnant mothers. I mean these bitches just come through thinking they own the fucking place and that your some slave there to serve her in her moment of hormonal imbalance and insecurity. These are the most insecure mother fuckers I've ever seen. They think they can keep you the whole 9 hours that your at the fucking store. "No ma'am, those are out of stock" "Are you sure? You can't check the back or anything?" PLEASE tell me, what the fuck is this "back" ?! Stupid ass customers think that there is some mystical place in the back of the store where we have eeeeeeeeeeverything in stock, and you have to bitch at the employees to gain access to this secret place, and get what your self-centered, pompus ass deserves.

"No ma'am, you can not buy that" "Why, your out of stock, why can't i buy that?" "Because thats a display, they're not for sale" "I still dont understand why I can't buy that, wheres your manager" "He's off today, you can't buy that item because lowe's doesn't own it, its a vender" 5 minutes of bitching later, she leaves, without the item. *sigh where the fuck do these scummy creitens come from? Who the fuck says "Hey let's make a sunday family trip to lowe's!" Who the fuck does this? Godamn these fucking white people, and in white people I don't mean the white people reading this, but WHITE people, the ones who pass the stereotypes.

Honestly, Lowe's is the most self-defeating company I have ever seen. See, we have the genius Idea of call buttons. Now for those who don't know lowe's, its home depot... just cleaner. EXACT same thing just cleaner. Now picture home depot, and strategically placed throughout the store, theres big tabs that jut out from the isle saying "NEED HELP? PRESS HERE!" So when the self centered cock sucker presses it, you hear loudly over the page, so the whole store can hear it, " SPECIAL ASSISTANCE NEEDED IN THE PLUMBING REPAIR" or "SPECIAL ASSISTANCE NEEDED AT THE PAINT DESK". So we have to stop whatever we're doing, and go to the fucking call button, turn it off, and ask the cock sucker what he needs. OH and guess what the best thing is, we're timed on these call buttons! And our performance is rated on them! So not only we have to go there, we have to hurry, because if we dont get there early enough we head "BEEP* SPECIAL ASSISTANCE NEEDED IN..." and if we lag even more we hear "BEEP* BEEP* SPECIAL ASSISTANCE NEEDED IN..." so everyone in the fucking store knows we're lagging. While this might sound like a GREAT idea, lets put this into a realistic sitation I.E. the situation i've been in the last past month.

So it's a Saturday, we just opened a month ago so everyone is rushing in to buy shit. This company has a funny policy of understaffing and cutting people's hours because we're not making as much as we thought we would. So I am the only one in plumbing. Plumbing is the busiest department in the store (im not exaggerating, we carry the store. Literally). So here we have this relativly inexperienced employee working alone at peak hours when there is EASILY at least 100 customers in his department (again no exaggeration). I sit at the fasion bath desk, people are fucking lined up. Im doing a special order then all of a sudden "SPECIAL ASSITANCE NEEDED IN..." *sigh* "Excuse me sir, I have to answer this very fast sorry i'll be quick" "Oh its cool go" Yes.. a cool headed customer, never get enough of those. I run to the isle we sell our vanity cabnets, turn the button off then "I'm sorry ma'am, im the only one in plumbing and i have a line of customers, i'll be with you in a sec."
"Ok"
Phew, ok so back to the desk, I run back to the desk and continue with the order. "Ok sir so you want that 36 inches wide?" Then "Special assistance needed in the vanity isle" *sigh* "I'm sooo sorry sir, hold on and let me get this really quick." "I understand, your the only person here..." YES. I run back to the vanity, ITS THE SAME FUCKING LADY THAT PRESSED IT 5 MINUTES AGO!

"Ma'am, im the only one in plumbing, I'll try to be with you as quick as possible"
"But I want someone else to come"
"No one else will come, ma'am, because its not they're department"
"But I've been waiting for an hour and 15 minutes!"
"I'm sorry"

I turn my fucking back, and run back to the customer to finally finish this fuckin order. Then, this godamn customer pushes the call button that is RIGHT NEXT TO ME. I promptly turn it off and say im the only one. Hey guess what she says?

"But someone else could come and help"
"No, this is my department, I'm the only one"
"But isn't my money important too?"

Theres nothing I can really say to that.
"Ma'am, bear with me, im trying the best I can"
"It's okay, i'll just go somewhere else"
OOOOH NOOOO! OOOOH NOO!! NOT HOME DEPOT!!!! Please don't go there!!!! *rolles eyes* Fine get the fuck out of here, I get paid either way.

MY PONT IS (yes I had one) that these buttons are supposed to help customer service, but really it hinders it. I can't provide the propper ass kissing I'm gettig paid to do, because when one of these godamn things go off, I have to drop WHATEVER I'm doing, and go kiss somone else's ass for a second and come back and finish off my current customer's rim job im currently trying my hardest to give (damn that cotton mouth). Nothing gets done. I'm driving a forklift, putting a pallet onto a rack, and with my forks in the air I have to stop whatever the fuck I'm doing to help some dickhead. Yeah, whoever made the call buttons is a fuckin idiot.

This store is so fulla shit, it took me like 10 minutes to get my license for all the power equipment. And I laugh my fucking ass off whenever I hear and advertisement over the loud speaker "Here at Lowe's, we have the highest trained professionals in the industry operating power equipment for your safety!" HAH! Oh and guess what, today in reward of my fantastic service of sucking every customer's dick, I got a raise. FOURTY-FIVE CENTS!!! WOOOHOOOO! Alriiiiide! I can finally afford to pay for my daughters braces, and pay for my grandmothers cancer treatment! Man, Fuck you. Keep your fourty-five fucking cents. People are quitting left and right because of our incompitent managers, even senior management is quitting. The longer I work here, the more I realize what uptight dickheads I work with. Ima stay here for 3 more months, then I'm gonna apply to fucking home depot, where if the customer doesn't find what he needs, thats too fuckin bad, get the fuck out my store.

So yeah, welcome to Lowe's, where we suck your dick and do it with a smile. If a customer ever tries to put the service dick in my mouth I'll be sure to clench my teeth. Just because we serve you, sure as hell doesn't mean we like you.

Rememberin the good ol' days

2006-05-14T07:16:10Z

Working 8 hours, (well 9 minus lunch) getting home, waking up, working another 8. Except for lately they havn't been giving me any, which sucks. I find that I tend to get extremly depressed when I'm sitting at home doing nothing. Even if it's hard work I don't like, I would take that rather than the monotonus boredom of not doing shit. Which reminds me I have a review tomorrow, I should be getting a godamn raise, which is cool, it will help pay for school... which reminds me, I need to register. *sigh* Money, money, money, never seems to be enough when you don't really have it.

Hmm, it has really been a while since I've wrote a journal entry of any substance, other than the drunken "Woo we're the shit!" or the sick random thoughts that just seem to come into my head for some strange reason. I should blame it on the rated R movies my parents allowed me to watch at a young age (ha...ha...ha.). But whats new? Well my life isn't so fucking stagnant anymore. Got off my ass and finally did somthing (get a job, make money, lose a bit of chunk etc.) Now that I think about it, I think I finally matured the fuck up a little bit, and I'm not such an arrogant, stubborn, and bitter asshole anymore. I mean I still possess those qualities, I just don't really wear them on my sleeve anymore.

Went to Santa Clara with Jessica Rita, and decided to pop in and surprise the shit out of Miss Shelby, which was a very pleasent experience. Hah the greatest thing about her is she lets movies, pictures, and literature effect her sooo much emotionaly. That coupled with good taste leads to a very interesting human being. She was one of the best teachers there and it was really cool seeing her after a while. Hmm, wanted to run into Baldwizzle, but she got off before she went there, and knowing the classes she usually teach, theres always some asshole like me or Abid giving her a hard time, so she probably wanted to cut the fuck out as soon as possible. Which is reasonable, but I must make it a point to go back and piss her off even more just for old time's sake.

*Sigh* reminising about the past is such a neccesary practice. Hard, and sometimes harmful (if you dwell) but just reminding yourself of what happened to you and what made you who you are is a nice way of keeping your feet upon the ground. I think of allll the people I ran into over the past 4 years that actually effected me, not just like "hey hello how you doin" but I actually had conversations with and who probably helped change me from some anti-social smart ass who thinks he's better than everone into.. well a smart ass that thinks he's better than everyone. Honestly I can just name names from when I first got into highschool and when I finally got out. At first there was Josh Legge, Daniel Wagner, and Paul Saria.. who came from St. Clares so they were more like a training wheel for high school, then I finally got the fuck out of Wilcox and ran into Patrick, Travis, Jimmy Stefani,Abid Fucking Erikat,and Fucking Joey Balinsky and upright fucking nerd who got pussy before ANY OF US! All these cats who knew I was a wierd anti-social black kid who DID listen to hip hop, but was all about FUCKIN DEATH METAL! haha.

Then came the faithful and random day I met Nicole Aknin-singley (fuck the spelling of your hyphinated name ma'am) and Tim Dollar. People who, surprise, wasn't into the same music I was into, but had a fucking TASTE. Music that I don't nessesarily LIKE but I RESPECT. Funny though, Nicole just happened to be a very fucking lound person, so my anti-social tendencies made me kind of avoid hanging out with her. But once in a while we would have an extremely good conversation, and those are rare and few in numbers. So learned to tolerate her(just kidding dude). Ah and Jessica Rita, how could I forget Jessica, I beleive we had 8th period together. Haha I remember her back then "YEah dude static X. FUCKING KORN MAN! I hella play bass" hahahha just kidding she is a very sweet girl. OH OH not that I could forget, but through Nicole and a random turn of events, I was introduced to this Portugese bitch who for some fucking reason found it nessesary to live two blocks away from my house and just HAD to IM me and some how fucking tricked me into liking her and became her friend. And not only that, this fucking devil woman also developed and extremly beutiful voice, beutiful enough for me to actually be able to be convinced to perform ON STAGE with her! At a school I hate in front of people I hate! Fuck you Susana! :). That summer I met alcohol, and actually started to get to know Barry, who, unlike many, actually comprehended my Star Wars references. That and the copious amount of times I installed fucking windows XP on his computer, led to a friendship of gaming, reinstalling, and drinking. Soon after, I have met Trent of the house of Norgart. He played base, he drank, he smoked pot, so I thought, this guy can't be that bad, mabe I should stop thinking murderous thoughts of what i'd do to him in my basement with a rusty meat hook.

Then I ran into Renee. I actually forgot how I met her, and how I started to hang out with her, but she played magic! And because of her stacked fucking deck she defeated me! A lot! And that was so fuckin cool ( I mean to an extent, how cool can playing magic actually be). From her I ran into this crazy fucking liberal named cristina ungetsdjhjino. Who was always up for a good discussion on the current goings of the world. Discussion, and sometimes a heated battle no less, but it was entertaining none the less because she was a very good person to just bitch to. Wether it was about politics, or just life in general I mean of course you can't listen to a person bitch ALL the time, but it's just good to have a venting person. Oh and fucking Ryan how can I forget this self richeous pompus asshole, who even if he aggreed he would SOME HOW find it funny to aggrivate me and play devils advocate. But he was the only one, well...one of very few who would actually get my (partial) sarcasm about taking over the world and starting a 4th reich. Hmm we still need to start that power metal band. Then through some random twist of events I ran into this small fuckin romanian named Ana. Hmm now what to I have to say about her. Well she was brilliant for one, extremly open which threw my off quite a bit, so I thought "hmm this one is interesting". So started hangin out and actualy became good friends, even went to a concert with her (a very bad ass one at that). She helped me through a lot of shit. One thing I could say, is she actually listened to my ramblings about military history, and could hold some of the most bad ass conversations I've ever had. Always encouraging to think a little differently even though she accepted some of my stranger quirks. But for some strange reason in the end I became some evil bitter asshole and just stopped talking to her. Eh, I was immature, what can I say?

Hmm that paragraph ended on an emo note, but I needed a breath of air and the bored mother fucker reading this needs a break in the wall of text. But after a depressing, marijuana infested senior year, I left high school ( I refuse to say I failed. You can't fail at somthing you never gave a shit about trying, don't let anyone tell you different.) Then started hangin out wiht my old friend from back in the day Christian Holmes. And was introduced to Ron, Filup, Tony, David, Noe (pronounced No- E) and hence I learned why these silly teenagers liked going out and socializing. Because it was fucking fun! Thanks to these guys I finally came out of the fuckin shell and stopped being such a negative prick. They taught me the art of Party, and that was a crazy fucking summer. Arrogant, conceded, but great friends never the less.

Wow, look what I have done. I'm not even drunk, well 3 beers and 1 shot (honestly, I'm not even buzzed anymore) and I still managed to write some drugged up rambling. But yes I guess this entry is tributed to alll the people who had some major effect on my life, and made me the arrogant asshole I am today...because I like the arrogant asshole I am today.

Thank you all very, very much. Now good night, I need some fucking sleep.

Damn that was Emo.

fuckyouimeric @ 2006-05-11T18:52:00

2006-05-12T01:52:24Z

Finished Goblet of Fire I have...

fuckyouimeric @ 2006-05-05T00:23:00

2006-05-05T07:30:15Z

Man, I feel like I'm pissed off at my kid or somthing. Almost a year and you've done nothing, it's not as much that I feel hurt, used, and pissed but its that im DISAPPOINTED. I honestly never really felt this disappointed in anyone I've ever known in my life. I honestly expected a lot more from you, and after almost a year I feel like you've been one of the biggest waste of time, and one of the most spineless backstabbers I've ever met in my life. Im very sure we'll probably be very good friends again in the near future, but honestly for now, im going to avoid you like a fuckin STD. And you'll probably want to do the same with me, because you can't just help but feel like a bum after you have reviewed what you just did, and your life in the past year. Your more intellegent than A LOT of my friends, and honestly no one talks shit about you, because really theres nothing to talk about. But in this case, I beleive you were an immature coward who not only used me, but my family as well. Like I said, this shit will probably blow over and we'll be good friends in the future, but until then, all I can think is:

"Man, Fuck you."